Write Club started as a way to get out of the house and away from excuses not to write. Occasionally we do more talking about writing than actual writing, but this isn't a bad thing. We're not a typical writing group; we don't do critiques or exercises. We just get together once at week at a local bookstore and write, or talk frankly about the craft, our frustrations, successes, disappoinments and why the hell we ever thought a career that is defined more by rejection than acceptance was a good idea.

Rules of Write Club

Rule one: You must talk about Write Club.

Rule two: You must write.

Rule three: Remember Mer's grandpa's words of wisdom: When the turtle gets his tail cut off in the lawnmower, the audience will care (in part just because they're the audience).

Rule four: Stop giving up.

Rule five: No dwelling.

Rule six: Use CTRL-End.

Rule seven: When in doubt throw alligators into the mix.

Rule eight: A verb would really help that sentence.

Rule nine: All the "P" words are just inappropriate.

Rule ten: When Dolly Parton can't help you, you know you're screwed.

Rule eleven: You can't go wrong with a hint of incest.

Rule twelve: Linguistics lies in the butt muscle.


"Kids pick their nose and eat it. They don't pick their ears and eat it." -Lisa
"So you're saying boogers taste better than earwax?" - Mer
"That's what logic would dictate." -Lisa

"You are a closet romantic." -Julie
"Oh, I'm barely in the closet. I'm standing there with the door open, waving." -Lisa

"It didn't have aliens, and that's how I knew it was mainstream." -Mer

"I need to make a list." -Mer
"You need to make a list and prioritize it." -Julie
"Oh, prioritizing! I love it when you talk dirty." -Mer

"It's like, currently they have stuff, but in the future they have better stuff." -Mer
"And that is the core of what science fiction is all about." -Julie

"There are exceptions to everything. And Julie is most of them." -Mer and Lisa

"You aren't regular women. That's why I like you! You wear pants like good people." -Mer, to Julie and Lisa

"There is no back-up strategy for us, Eric." -Mer
"No, you can't back up far enough or fast enough." -Eric

"I've never needed chemicals to alter my personality." -Mer

"Huh. They used to levy fines against unmarried women for sexual misconduct." -Lisa
"And they burned them." -Mer

"It's not that I can't take it, I just have this thing about public humiliation." -Mer

"We were hardly inappropriate." -Mer
"Were you there?" -Eric
"We were hardly as inappropriate as we could have been." -Mer

"Time flies when you're being stupid." -Mer

"No one appreciates me the way I want to be appreciated." -Mer

"Hey, in that book I do know what happens to the squid on the mantelpiece." -Mer

"Tentacle sex makes everything better." -Julie

"I don't know why I'm saying this out loud." -Mer
"Because you do everything out loud." -Lisa

"I did not get into slash to read about lesbians who have male names!" - Mary Lou

The magic abacus....
"Majabacus..." -Mer
"That sounds obscene." -Lisa
"Like everything else we've been talking about tonight hasn't?" - Julie

"What was I doing? *pause* I was writing!" -Mer

"I am so fraught I'm restraining myself from killing you!" -Mer, to Eric

"Can you fit two in one?" -Mer

"'That orgasm is really problematic.' And I said, 'Well, any one you walk away from...'" - Mary Lou

"So you're a sniper." -Mary Lou
"I'm not a sniper, because I basically jump up and giggle." -Mer

"[Ann Coulter] said that Democrat women are hairy and smelly and are piewagons, but no one knows what that means." -Mary Lou
"You would think that would be the Republican ideal. Not only do you bake cookies, but you have pie! In a wagon! And you take it around the neighborhood!" -Mer

"That [american] was the first word I read. I was with my mom, and there was something on the sink... no toilet." -Mer
"American Standard." -Eric
"Yeah, on the toilet. And I pointed at it and said to my mom, 'It's my name!', because I read the 'mer' in it." -Mer
"So the first word you read was on a toilet." -Julie
"Explains a lot, doesn't it?" -Mer

Discussing popslash...
"See, there was this story, and they were all on a bus..." -Mary Lou
"Stop!" -Mer
"Now you know what we feel like when you don't stop." -Eric
"I am your karmic revenge." -Mary Lou, to Mer

"I'm trying to think of what I would do in this situation, if I were me." -Mer

"If I were you, you wouldn't find this so horrifying. Or maybe you would." -Mary Lou

"You've dreamed of this day." -Mer
"I've lived this day. Have you seen these quotes?" -Julie
"I meant me getting my comeuppance." -Mer
"Oh." -Julie
"I'm sorry, was this about me?" -Mer

"My up came and went." -Mer

"There was only one of me [on the cot]." -Julie

"Hey look. If I stop providing material for the unauthorized autobiography of me... that might work in my favor." -Mer

Upon seeing the small child behind us...
"Maybe we shouldn't be saying 'manwhore' so loud." -Mer

"Writers reading book? What will happen next?" - Mer
"Writers writing books?" - Eric
"Nah." -The group

"There's nothing like crappy competition to make you feel better about your writing." -Lou

Mer babbles incoherently
"No one understands my pain." -Mer
It's not a question of understanding your pain, it's a question of understanding your English." -Lisa

"I do have some level of discretion." -Julie
"Thank God, because I don't." -Mer

"Why does so much of writing involve describing what they're [the characters] doing in successive order?" -Lou

Mer, comforting her ugly-duckling stage novel...
"Oh, poor thing. You're ugly, and no one's going to love you except your momma. You're never going to get laid." -Mer

"I did not stay that, and you cannot prove it in a court of law." - Mer

"I don't know if she's not the same stupid person who was there before, or she just dyed her hair." -Mer

"I don't think I fell down any stairs while we were [in England], but there was a lot of idiocy." -Mer

"I'm sure it's tasteful tentacle porn." -Lou

"Okay, Logic Pants." -Lou
"No, they're cotton." -Mer

"Are you being combative for good reasons, or just the usual ones?" -Mer, to Eric

"Sorry, I sniff things before I put them in my mouth." -Lou

"He's only a stalker if he turns you off. Right?" -Mer